You know when you're just sitting around, minding your own business, when suddenly you get buried alive? It sucks, trust me. Well, you won't have to worry about having your last moments ruined by a frantic clawing and digging if you get yourself set up with one of Vitaly Malyukov's alarm coffins. Yes, now you can have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that when you're buried, if you happen to wake up, you can push a button and have people come dig you up. It really helps you eternally sleep better at night knowing that some horrific, unimaginable ways to go just won't happen to you, no matter how drunk your doctor is when he declares you dead. No word on pricing or availability as of yet, unfortunately. - Adam Frucci
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